Your Weekend Justice #196: Valar Portcullis

It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck–the podcast that didn’t go back in time just to see what giant tortoises actually taste like…until it did, and now it has. It’s one of those timey whimey yummy tummy sort of things. You know.

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Brad Pitt from 12 Monkeys

Agenda:

  • PNG and graphical hipsters
  • Sam Jackson, brewmeister and keeper of graphic info
  • Ed needs to see a doctor about his Lower Third
  • Everybody uses GIFs? If everybody jumped off a bridge, would you etc. etc.?
  • Widge’s mic is possessed by images. It made even less sense at the time.
  • ScottC, possessed by Barry White
  • The Magic Mike
  • The world’s most popular Irish podcaster returns!
  • Game of Thrones post-mortem!
  • Arya, major asskicker
  • How to rock on the Iron Throne and ideas for the Westeros Theme Park
  • (more…)

    Why Fringe and Futurama Are Pretty Much the Same Show

    So. We’re all SF nerds here, right? We’ve all watched the first four seasons of Futurama, and we’re all watching Fringe? Yeah, of course we are. So you’ll all be with me, and you’ll understand what I mean when I say that, I recently realised that

    Reiden Lake:FRINGE::The Cryochamber:FUTURAMA

    Okay, maybe that doesn’t make a lot of sense, no matter what you’re watching. I will explain sum up, but first I want to acknowledge a debt of brain machinations to a conversation with M1k3y, who asked the questions what got me thinking through this explanation of my analogy.

    Here There Be Spoilers.

    What I mean is that they’re both lynchpins for their respective universes. In Futurama, we see that, because of Fry, there’s a temporal anomaly at the cite of the cryochamber–the point where he goes forward in time (the Why of that is explained in the SUPER INTRICATE ARC of the first four seasons). In fact, we see in a What-If Machine episode that if Fry isn’t frozen, then the entire Universe CEASES TO BE.

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    Your Weekend Justice #100: We Shave the Turkey and Stroke the Bacon

    It’s Weekend Justice: hitting its 100th episode. We recorded this mostly live with a number of horrible, disfiguring technical difficulties and a very patient Ustream audience, who we all love dearly. This podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

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    Willard Scott

    Agenda:

    • Preliminary alcohol report
    • Marvel Universe Scott?
    • Leigh finally drinks
    • Serv brings the orgy
    • Brownie demands
    • More alcohol report and Widge has a child-proof beer
    • Full access pants
    • Black Lodge vs. Menstrual Hut
    • Leigh vs. the uterus pinata
    • NCIS news and a painful squee
    • Electroflush!
    • The podcast laps itself about Leigh’s lap
    • The Sound Board (not the podcast) brings about Skynet and the end of the world
    • Weekend Justice vs. the Killer Island
    • Inexplicable poker discussion
    • (more…)

    Your Weekend Justice #97: Cautionary Tales of Pop Rocks Abuse

    It’s Weekend Justice: the podcast that scoffs at your Snowpocalypse and hoses down your driveway in the middle of the night. This podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

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    Krull Comics

    Agenda:

    • R. Kelly, poet
    • Leigh’s great-grandmother travels through time!
    • Let’s start a rumor!
    • Axis & Allies enthusiasm
    • Stephen King‘s Dark Tower: The Board Game
    • Demon wrapping
    • Gifts going wrong
    • Pop Rocks going wrong
    • Leigh was right
    • Dare levels
    • The Ginger Story
    • Meredith Baxter-Birney
    • The Comic-Con Parade
    • (more…)

    Memo: Time Travel Abuse, Part 3

    Star Wars Admiral Ackbar Samurai

    To: Needcoffee Staff
    From: ScottC

    Subject: Time Travel Abuse 3, The Return of The Jedi

    And you were all doing so well. It’s been a couple of years since the unfortunate incident with Pac-Man and the off-the-books time travel agency. But you couldn’t resist screwing around with the time machine, could you?

    I know we all have our issues with the alien android duplicate of George Lucas. Han shot first, the prequels, and now reformatting Star Wars for 3-D, I get it. But we can’t go after everyone who takes a cherished childhood media property and remake, re-imagine, or reboot them for shameless profit and/or ego. We would never have any time to update Needcoffee.com and our fans depend on us. We cannot abandon them on some futile crusade. Not to mention the massive causality paradoxes made by altering history to disenfranchise those guilty.

    Now, I will admit that I thought the plan to introduce Star Wars to Edo period Japan so Kurosawa would be inspired and create the Trilogy before Lucas was clever and ironic. But messing with The Web of Time is not worth it. You don’t want to be the spiders it attracts.

    To clean up the mess, we again used Process #34 on an artist, Steve Bialik, and he has made some nice prints based on his “inspiration.” You can even buy some here.

    So please remember, history is not an Etch-A-Sketch.
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