Iron Man 3 (2013) – 27 Second Review

Iron Man 3 Poster

Written by: Drew Pearce & Shane Black, based on the character created by Stan Lee, Don Heck, Larry Lieber & Jack Kirby and the comic book storyline by Warren Ellis & Adi Granov

Directed by: Shane Black
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley, Jon Favreau and Paul Bettany

Review: Tony Stark. Genius. Billionaire. Superhero. Bit of a dick. And once again, Robert Downey Jr. plays it all out masterfully. Of course, I go to movies for the ‘splode, and that was present in droves as well. If you go more than fifteen minutes in this movie without an explosion, you should make sure you’re in the right theater. And that’s a good thing. It’s also a good thing to finally have a superhero role model who can be an asshole to children.

Time: 22 seconds

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Stuff: Tarsem’s Film Hopefully a Hyperion to “Clash of the Titans”‘ Satyr

Mickey Rourke as Hyperion from Immortals

There are some people who need every little pop culture news tidbit the moment it comes off the presses. They like reading press releases converted into 250 words of article. This feature is not for them. This feature is for people who need to know the important bits and don’t have time for the extraneous info. If that’s you: enjoy.

  • Immortals is what War of the Gods is called now. Tarsem is directing Mickey Rourke as a mad Hyperion trying to kill mankind. Seriously. What else do you need to know? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go back and watch The Cell and The Fall and tell yourself that that man is going to bring you GODS THAT FIGHT.
  • American Horror Story is the show that FX has ordered a pilot of from the people who brought you Glee. You know what would make the show a slam-dunk for me? Get Kings of Leon to do the theme. Source.
  • Here’s one way to do it: create a video game trailer that’s so awesome that you sell the film rights on the strength of it before the game even hits. That’s Dead Island, of course–although the rights were bought before the trailer, even. Bought in 2009. Just damn. Anyway, the trailer is what everybody has been sending me, trying to get me to buy a console. Bastards. Anyway, fine, here’s the trailer. This is more of a horror movie than, well, most horror movies. Watch it after the break.

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