Your Weekend Justice #78: The Presidential Episode

Behold. Another episode of madness and mayhem. This is not only not safe for work, but it’s not safe for play. Or animals. Or any carbon-based life. It’s the podcasting equivalent of anarchy on a cracker.

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Poppy

Agenda:

  • Poppy!
  • Dali
  • J-Leigh vs. Jae Lee
  • The Sound Board Field Trip
  • Leigh’s friend who edits
  • SeaBitch!
  • Narwhal sub
  • How to handle an Australian
  • The Corey Squad
  • Hasselhoff in Europe
  • Falco’s Tomb
  • Artists around the world
  • Ice-T, the true playa
  • Crash Test Dummies, vindicated…somewhat
  • Rib America
  • The Madden curse
  • The wine phenomenon
  • Dead tofu in Din’s fridge
  • (more…)

Gigli (2003) – DVD Review

Gigli DVD cover art

Film:
DVD:

Written & Directed by Martin Brest
Starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Lenny Vinito, Justin Bartha, and Christopher Walken

Released by: Columbia TriStar
Rating: R
Region: 1
Anamorphic: Yes.

My Advice: Avoid it.

Larry Gigli (Affleck) is a muscle man for a young, up-and-coming thug in L.A named Louis (Vinito). He’s been tasked with kidnapping and holding Brian (Bartha), the mentally challenged brother of a federal prosecutor. The hope is that the kidnapping will put some pressure on the prosecutor to cut a deal on the prosecution of a friend of Louis’ back in New York. It seems, however, that Louis doesn’t think that Gigli is quite up to the challenge, so he hires Ricki (Lopez) to help Gigli make sure the job is done right. Ricki is pretty hot, but there’s a bit of a snag; she’s a lesbian. Will they be able to learn to work together?

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Jersey Girl (2004) – DVD Review

Jersey Girl DVD cover art

Film:
DVD:

Written and Directed by Kevin Smith
Starring Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, Jason Biggs, George Carlin, Stephen Root, and Raquel Castro

Features:

  • Running audio commentary with writer/director Smith and actor Affleck
  • Running audio commentary with Smith, producer Scott Mosier and Jason Mewes
  • From Mallrats to Jersey Girl: Kevin Smith and Ben Affleck talk shop
  • The Tonight Show’s “Roadshow Attractions”
  • Behind the scenes special
  • Text interviews with cast and crew

Released by: Miramax Home Entertainment
Rating: PG-13
Region: 1
Anamorphic: Yes.

My Advice: Rent it before you buy it.

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The Cell (2000) – Movie Review

The Cell

Written by: Mark Protosevich
Directed by: Tarsem Singh
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Vincent D’Onofrio, Vince Vaughn, Dylan Baker, Jake Weber

My Advice: Don’t miss it.

Catherine (Lopez) is a former social worker who’s now finally able to get inside the mind of the child in her care. We’re talking literally here. She is able to project her mind into the minds of others using cutting edge technology, and is trying to help a catatonic child (Colton James) with his trauma. Into her life comes FBI agent Novak (Vaughn), and boy does she wish he was carrying flowers. But instead, he’s carrying Carl (D’Onofrio), a serial killer–and they need Catherine’s help to find the whacko’s latest victim.

Let’s get something out of the way first. This seems an awful lot like Dreamscape of the Lambs, with art direction by Joel-Peter Witkin. And yes, in the hands of less capable directors, that’s probably all it might have turned out to be: eye candy that wasn’t for the squeamish. However, Tarsem, he of the music videos, stepped up to the chair and brought with him much thoughts (and effective ones at that) about what the inner workings of a madman’s mind might be.

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