Why Vampire$?  Well, I guess the main reason is that it hasn't been made into a movie yet.  Ah, your brow creases profusely.  "What," you ask?  "Of course it was made into a movie.  James Woods starred in it.  John Carpenter directed it."  Well, yes, there was a movie called Vampires that John Carpenter directed, but that piece of crap had about as much to do with Steakley's novel as the novel As Time Goes By has to do with the movie Casablanca.  The character names are there, but that's about it.  Even worse with Carpenter's attempt, since Jack Crow was the only character to make it to the big screen.

And it's a bloody shame, too, because this would make a great movie.  It's essentially a tough action movie just like Mom used to make.  Crazed over-testosterone-driven men going into battle, good vs. evil with lots of cussing and spitting, and at the first sign of trouble: it's "Get the women to safety."  It's a kick-ass hard driving book that pulls no punches, and I can't wait till someone makes a film of it.  We'll even screenwrite the thing.  You know where to find us.

What's the scoop?  Jack Crow is the head of a team of bounty hunters who hunt...vampires.  They make good money, they're backed up by the Vatican, it's a decent life.  Until--Team Crow gets ambushed and decimated, leaving the survivors to run for their lives from a master vampire who is pissed.

Directed by John Woo:  Because Woo makes kick ass action movies, and if there's any kind of action this bad boy needs, it's the kick ass kind.  And there's even guns later on in the story, so John will truly be in his element.  This is over the top action as well, and if you've seen Face/Off, you know that it's Woo's favorite kind.

Kurt Russell as Jack Crow:  Now James Woods played the role in the recent mutation, and he was good but the screenplay backing him up sucked rocks.  CCB is convinced that the ultimate person to play Jack Crow would be John Wayne.  In fact, he even referred to the novel at one point as "John Wayne vs. Vampires."  Not a bad summary line, although I can't see Wayne calling some undead monster "pilgrim."  But whatever.  We need somebody who can be, no holds barred, an ultimate badass.  Russell, when he's got a good screenplay behind him, can be in hi-test badass mode, and after Soldier, we think it'll do him good to go take on something he can drive a slab of wood through.  It'll make him feel better.  And we know he can pull off Crow's wild swings from depression to kicking ass.  That's important.

John Cusack as Felix:  After the Team bites the big one, Crow needs a shooter.  And the guy he picks is one who is death with a pair of irons.  But here's the catch: he's a gunman who hates being a gunman.  He wants to run his bar and be left alone.  We had thought of some other people, like Russell Crowe for example, but we think Cusack can pull it off.  He's wanted to do a serious action film.  He did the comedic thing with Grosse Pointe Blank and found himself in a terrible film with Con Air, so he's perfect for the part.  We needed somebody a little younger than Crow, and a little older than Davette.  We needed somebody who can do the scene where Felix freezes up, only to come alive and kick ass, and make it believable.  John's the man.

Harry Connick Jr. as Cherry Cat:  For Cat, we needed somebody who could be a goofball (the scene where he dresses up as a vampire and gets dangled from that crane) and yet do the deed when the deed needs doing.  Man, that last phrase sounded like a line from a rap song.  Anyway, I've always liked Connick since I thought he was the brightest spot of Memphis Belle long and long ago.  He should grab some chain mail and fall in line.

Susan Sarandon as Annabelle:  Annabelle is denmother for the Team, but she's so much more.  And it's not just that her husband started Vampire$, Inc.  As she calls the Team, "her boys."  She loves them.  The book describes her as a slightly older woman who is still very attractive but very sophisticated.  What cemented Sarandon in my mind is the scene where she overdoses on pills in order to free the Team up so they can run.  I can see her taking the bottle and summoning up the strength to end her own life so that her boys can live.  No question at all.  She's the one.

Heather Graham as Davette:  Davette was an easy role to cast.  Let's face it, nobody's got a picnic in this book, but she goes through hell when she's in Ross' clutches.  We wanted somebody who could go through all of that and have them still be believably sane on the other side.  And not to mention the fact that Davette's a knockout--so Graham was a natural choice.

Gary Busey as Carl Joplin:  We had to give this one some serious thought.  Joplin is the team's handyman/weaponsman.  He is also described as a large man and I saw him as tough as nails.  And after a while of thinking, we thought of Busey.  He may not be physically the biggest guy around, but when he gets upset, you by God know he's there.  And the way he bites it in the book is awesome.  "Not one damned regret."  That's when I knew the book rocked even harder than I had previously imagined.

Sean Patrick Flanery as Father Adam:  Part of both advantage and disadvantage of the novel is the fact that Steakley didn't give us a lot to go on for character's stats.  All we really know about Father Adam is that he's young enough for Crow to call him "kid."  And what does that mean?  Nothing, really, since Crow probably feels like he's eighty.  We decided to cast young anyway, and after looking about finally settled on Flanery.

Anthony Quinn as The Man:  No, to answer the obvious question, it's not because Quinn would look good in the Pope's funny hat.  No.  We were trying to think of a dignified older gentleman who could not only look regal, serene, a servant of the Almighty--but also one who would put up with Crow and his crap.  I think you'll agree that those criteria limited our choices, but we did well enough I believe.

Loren Dean as Deputy Kirk:  Kirk struck me as a wholesome, all-American young man who sees the Team in action and wants to be a part of the action.  Dean just has that look to me, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.  He would also wear the chain mail rather well.  So that's a plus.

Michael Duncan as Anthony:  Since you're reading this, you've obviously read the book and know that Anthony is toast pretty early on.  One of the things that I found cool about Mission: Impossible was how unexpected it was that the whole team bought it in the first twenty minutes.  Especially Emilio Estevez.  So we're pulling an Estevez on this one, and giving Duncan a quick cameo so he can get skragged.  He's such a likable guy that it'll be a surprise to anyone who hasn't read the book.

Skeet Ulrich as Ross Stewart:  For our two vampire masters, we had to do some serious cogitating.  Ross needs to be around Davette's age, since they were in school together.  He also needs to be the dark goth type who can wimp out once the guy below shows up.  We figured Ulrich is known for his creepiness, so why not capitalize on them?  Works for us.

Brian Blessed as Simon Kennedy:  This basically amounts to a cameo, but it has to be a very effective one, since Kennedy is the older master who's the big slab of parmesan, if you know what I mean.  According to the book, Kennedy's huge.  We opted for somebody who just seems huge.  Blessed's presence fills a screen like few actors I've ever seen.  I mean, I thought the guy was eight feet tall until recently.  Imagine him storming into a room, pissed off and yelling, "Ross!"  I'd freak even thought my name's Widge.  Go figure.