Why Sweeney Todd? And What the Hell's Up With This Cast?  Well, because I was listening to the soundtrack a while ago, and I started thinking about the recent retooling of Jesus Christ Superstar that the Indigo Girls headed up. And I thought, well, why not? It's dark, it's demented, there's lots of blood and the music rocks. Then it simply became a matter of figuring out who would work singing what parts. Having been in this show I can tell you: it's not a cakewalk, even by Sondheim standards. So after much debating and gnashing of teeth, we figured on this cast.

What's the scoop?   Sweeney Todd has returned to London after some time away, although his true past is not immediately known. What is known, however, is that he's had a hard life. He's back in London to find what he left behind--and when that proves to not be available, he decides to take his revenge out on those that cost him his beloved wife, Lucy, his daughter, Johanna, and several years worth of living.

Directed by Mark Romanek Honestly, we figure you'd want to make this an album and not a full fledged movie. But if you decided to go the whole nine, you would need somebody righteous in the driver's seat--and that's Romanek. Or even if you just wanted a documentary shot of the process with maybe some kickass music videos to back the thing up--he's your man. Go to his site and watch some of his handiwork. The Johnny Cash "Hurt" video (yes, he's covering Reznor) is mind-blowing, the new "Cochise" video by Audioslave is righteous, and Romanek was also responsible for the best videos of Reznor's Nine Inch Nails. You want him.

Mike Patton as Sweeney Todd: This was actually pretty easy to decide on. Let's see? Hmmm, murderous with a sense of humor and the ability to baritone to hell and back? Okay, sold. Patton I'm sure would throw in some patented shrieks and screams but imagine him destroying "No Place Like London". Oh, it would be sweet.

Johnette Napolitano as Mrs. Lovett: Mrs. Lovett took some work. I mean, this is a woman with a very dark soul. A sense of humor, but it's black as pitch. Listen to "A Little Priest," chocked full of puns and it's so amusing you have to keep reminding yourself, "Ah, cannibalism! I remember now!" So falling back on the darkness of Bloodletting and factoring in a little bit of humor, we think Napolitano would have fun...until the oven, of course.

Maynard James Keenan as Judge Turpin: Oh, it's such an evil part. He brings in Johanna, raises her as his own, all the while lusting after her like mad. And it is mad. And he can get loooow. But so can Reverend Maynard. Listen to a little bit of Aenima and the cool tracks off of Album of the Year (for Patton) and then imagine them trading blows on "Pretty Women". Oh, freaking joy.

Corey Glover as The Beadle: Considering the fact that in our production of the show, this was played by a qualified opera singer, you know you're going to need some serious vocal chords on this one. And if you've ever heard Living Colour (their cover of "Sunshine of Your Love" still rocks my world), then you know that Corey has got some amazing lungs. Sure, "Ladies in Their Sensitivities" is a bit of a funny song, but it takes some doing to sing it.

Alicia Keys as Johanna: It's pretty much this simple: Alicia Keys has pipes, and Johanna needs them. I don't expect her to do "Green Finch and Linnet Bird" in a straight interp (Hell, look at this cast, like we expect anybody to do anything straight), but she is only real completely point of brightness in this hellish piece. So you need somebody who can do the songs, and we think she's it.

Maxwell as Anthony: This is going to sound strange, but I came up with this one after hearing his Unplugged version of Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing." I figured we've got so much in the way of harsh, hard vocals going on--and again, this is a harsh, hard piece to begin with--that we needed a little smoothness. Make Anthony smooth, why not?

Bif Naked as The Beggar Woman: I had no idea who to cast in this role. Well, I had an idea: I initially had said Ani DiFranco, but Doc informed me that maybe I wanted to go with something even more edgy, more abrasive. So he introduced me to Bif. What a glorious pop-punk discovery. Yes, after hearing "Moment of Weakness," I knew we had somebody to sing for alms.

Dan Lord as Toby: If you're asking yourself "Who the hell is Pain?" then you are truly deprived. Many, many moons ago when the Widgeman fronted a band, Pain opened up for us. We were a little startled at the fact that they numbered roughly the same as a small army, but when they kicked off it was like a circus band in hell, led by the manic vocal (and physical) stylings of Dan Lord. He was one of the first people I thought of when putting this insanity together. Pick up their monumental epic Midgets With Guns and see if you don't agree with our choice here.

Angelo Moore as Pirelli: Again, an easy choice to make. Fishbone are gods among men, and Angelo Moore is a badass. While listening to "The Contest" I began to hear how Angelo would interp Pirelli's part: you know, "To shave-a the face..." oh it's lovely. And again, opera-level quality normally but Angelo would just bring the house down. Especially when he reveals his true nature to Mr. Benjamin Barker.

Disagree?  Did we miss something?  Well, email us for Ah-Pook's sake and tell us all about it!  And while you're here--Would you like some coffee?