The Target (2003)
Review by HTQ4
Film:
DVD:

Written by Brad Mirman
Directed by Jean-Pierre Roux
Starring Christopher Lambert, Dennis Hopper, James Faulkner, Diane Kruger

Released by: Artisan Entertainment
Rating: R
Region: 1
Anamorphic: N/A; appears in its original 1.33:1 format

My Advice: Take aim and put it out of its misery

Alex Laney (Lambert) is a hit man, but his childhood is not only haunting him, but threatening to catch up with him as well. He is hired by Robert Nile (Hopper) to protect Nile from the leader of the South African Mafia. Why does he need protecting you might well ask. Well, naturally, he's the only man who can identify the Mafia leader. As a result, the assassin must become the protector.

There are amazing scenes of Hopper brushing his beard in the mirror interspersed throughout the shots of topless girls jiggling all over the place. No, really, it's that exciting. From what I can tell, we are supposed to give a rat's ass about these characters, but it just didn't work out. Lambert and Hopper both turn in--or I should say phone in--horrible performances. That's really all that should be expected from them. I mean, Highlander was good in spite of Lambert's performance and Hopper hasn't done a good movie since Speed, and that was good--again--in spite of his performance. So, it should come as no surprise that a movie with both of these actors as stars is nothing short of terrible.

It's not even just them: things just make no sense. For example, I can't imagine why they had Hopper spend the first part of the movie in an absolutely horrible wig only to remove it for no reason whatsoever. There also is no explanation why Kruger's character, who happens to be so pissed off at Lambert's, suddenly falls in love with him. Oh sure, he gets shot while rescuing her, but is that really enough? Tremendous plot holes and character lapses only add insult to injurt.

I'm not sure what to tell you about supplemental material--there is none on the disc. And given the fact that the film is so bad, I'm grateful for that...because I just didn't want to spend anymore time on it. So, if you see this one sitting on the shelf and catch yourself thinking, "Hey, Lambert and Hopper, why not?" Have someone smack you, and keep right on moving. You'll thank me.