Lena’s Holiday (1991)
Review by Doc Ezra
Film:
DVD:

Written by Deborah Tilton and Michael Heusch
Directed by Michael Heusch
Starring Chris Lemmon, Nick Mancuso, Michael Sarrazin, Felicity Waterman, and Pat Morita

Rating: R

Anamorphic: Yes

My advice: Don’t bother

Lena’s Holiday is an exercise in promise unfulfilled. There are elements of the premise that could have made for an amusing (if somewhat formulaic) comedy caper. Alas, nobody present was capable of bringing this promise to fruition, and the script can’t decide if it wants to be a smuggler’s drama, a comedy, or a romantic comedy.

The setup goes like this – a recently liberated East German girl decides to use her newfound freedom to visit the United States, specifically Hollywood. But a woman at the airport switches luggage with her, and promptly runs off and gets killed. Unbeknownst to Lena, her new luggage has nothing inside except lingerie and a box of condoms. In desperation, she calls a photographer that hit on her at the airport, gets put up at his place for about a day, and then runs off with a cab driver to find more appropriate lodgings.

The cab driver is chattier and more friendly than most L.A. cabbies, I’d wager. After a bad piece of luck misremembering her hotel’s name (and a great cameo by Pat Morita as the stoned proprietor of what has to be the seediest motel in L.A.), she finds herself with the cabbie. And it comes to light that the condoms (which she left at the photographer’s house) contain stolen diamonds. And the owner wants ‘em back.

Now, the smuggled-diamonds-in-condoms bit is kind of original, and the luggage full of lingerie holds promise of vague titillation, but nothing ever comes together. The acting is passable, though nothing really stands out (except the aforementioned Mr. Miyagi cameo).

Other than its indecisiveness about mood and the overall flat performances, which I blame in large part on the script, there isn’t much to point at and make the root cause of the movie’s failure. Lemmon is decent as the cabbie with the heart of gold, and Mancuso makes for an okay slimy photog, and Waterman (in her first feature role) manages as the fish out of water, but it all goes nowhere. The excitement isn’t very exciting, the romance isn’t very romantic, and the drama isn’t very dramatic. It’s like a pale shadowy reflection of a decent movie.

Of extras there are none, though this is hardly surprising. Throwing good money after bad is never a way to earn favor with the shareholders. Rhino isn’t exactly notorious for sprucing up the pics in their cult stable, and this one is even less likely to have a following than most. Just stay away.