Bare Witness (2001)
Review by HTQ4
Film:
DVD:

Written by Anthony L. Greene and Evan Spiliotopoulos
Directed by Kelley Cauthen
Starring Daniel Baldwin, Angie Everhart, Catalina Larranaga, Mark Silversten, Evan MacKenzie and Joe Costanza

Anamorphic: No

My Advice: Skip it

Carly Marsh's (Everhart) roommate went and got herself dead. But before that, she was working as a "professional date" for a guy named Slim (Costanza) who also happened to be exploiting her for an adult film that he was producing. It turns out that her last "date" was the mob hitman who was supposed to be bumping off one of the candidates for mayor, and she just happens to enjoy videotaping her "dates". So, the hunt is on for this video tape that has the face of a mob hitman on it. Detecive Killian (Baldwin) is a rebel on the police force. He's the guy the chief is always yelling at to Straighten Up and Play By The Rules. Killian is recently divorced and Marsh is single and she used to be a "professional date" too. You do the math...

Let me start by pointing out that the Executive Producers of this movie were none other than Baldwin and Everhart. With that knowledge firmly in hand, I'll press on. This entire movie looks like it was shot on video rather than film. The lighting is horrible and the script is even worse. To give you an idea of how bad this script is, let me see if I can describe how the first scene begins: the credits roll over a very steamy sex scene. After the credits and the sex are done (how in the world did they ever time that out right?), there is a knock at the hotel room door. The guy reaches for his silver-plated pistol, steps to the door and asks for the password. I kid you not.

Angie Everhart is exactly what she is supposed to be in this movie: drop-dead sexy. There is only one thing that stops her sex scene from being one of the hottest things you've ever seen: Daniel Baldwin. He successfuly hits every "cop with an attitude" stereotype in this movie, the only problem is it looks like he's checking them off his list after he hits them. In other words, his performance might have well been phoned in by a better Baldwin brother. Getting back to their sex scene--because, well, what else is there--it is completely unbelievable that Everhart's character "falls in love" with Baldwin's. It's a combination of bad writing and poor acting, but it mostly has to do with the fact that most women (in my opinion) wouldn't want to see Daniel Baldwin naked anyway. The supporting cast are there to simply make the movie more steamy and some of them actually succeed in doing so, but mostly, its a birdcage liner script shot with very poor production values by a director who has a hard time getting you from one sex scene to the next.

The DVD is exactly the treatment that this movie deserves. There is nothing on it. The DVD case tries to fool you into thinking that there are some special features, but it only lists the functions of a DVD and not any special features.

So, if you are lonely one night and your internet porn connection is down for whatever reason, you might actually be tempted to rent this movie. I would urge you to stop and think about renting a real porn instead.