Boat Trip (2002)
Review by Dindrane
Film:
DVD:

Written by Mort Nathan and William Bigelow
Directed by Mort Nathan
Starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Horatio Sanz, Roselyn Sanchez, Vivica A. Fox, Maurice Godin, and Roger Moore

Features:

• Three minutes of added footage
  
• Deleted scenes
  
• Tanning tips featurette
  
• Bloopers
  
• Cast karaoke performance of "The Tide is High"
  
• Making-of featurette
  
• Trivia track
  

Dindrane's Film Warnings:

• Naked playmates on the menu
• Frank discussion of sexuality
• Really lame tanning lotion/ejaculate joke

Released by: Artisan
Region: 1
Rating: NR
Anamorphic: Yes

My Advice: Are you over 12? Then if you spend money to rent or buy this, you deserve what you get

Boat Trip tells the "delightful" tale of a pair of friends. Jerry (Gooding) has just been dumped by his girlfriend Felicia (Fox) mere moments after he proposes marriage to her. Six months later, his friend Nick (Sanchez), to shake Gooding out of his funk, arranges for them to go on a cruise where they believe they are guaranteed lots and lots of sex. Only they annoy and offend the travel agent, who, out of spite, books them on a gay man's cruise. Ha, ha, look at the funny gay people and the funny horny straight men.

This is potentially one of the most offensive movies you'll see any time soon: if you are a gay male, you will be horrified by the reinforcement of all the negative stereotypes you are so tired of seeing. Roger Moore's relatively sane and mainstreamed character is the only exception. Much of the "making fun" seems to be done with affection, if not respect, such as in the character Hector (Godin), who is the only truly amusing stereotype we are given, but is still much more a caricature than a character. If the message for us is supposed to be the same as the message for the characters (gay people are just like you and me! Even cops, firemen, and military men!), then they failed. If you are a woman, you will be horrified by the way women are objectified, ogled, and generally treated like mobile breast platforms all the way through. One look at the menus will tell you all you need to know about how women are treated in this film--as receptors for some male character's penis. Actually, for all that, the movie isn't very fair to straight men either, who are depicted as raging horndogs who only care about what women look like and how fast they can be talked into sex. The only slight exception to this is Cuba's character, who is at least a bit better than this, more like a "normal" guy.

Also be warned that the "unrated version" has a menu showing Playboy Playmates with boobs rampant right there on your screen. Compare this menu to Van Wilder, where you had the option of turning this titillation (no pun intended) on or off, to suit your own tastes and how much you want to shelter your friends.

The features list, on the other hand, is quite impressive. There are a couple of deleted scenes and bloopers, but the best added scene is the pieced together a capella performance of "The Tide is High" by the cast. The tanning featurette is about what you would expect: a memento of why Playmates shouldn't be allowed to talk. The making-of featurette is decent enough, but the movie they're talking about is just not worth the curiosity.

All in all, if you're desperate for a laugh and not likely to be offended by, well, anything, then shame on you. Oh, and you might want to watch this movie if it's being shown free on TV. Don't spend your money on it. There are a couple of laughs to be had, but not many. I've seen worse, but Cuba deserves oh so much better. If only there had been more of Moore, who is truly quite good in this, it might have been a better, funnier, and fresher movie. Oh, well.