Beneath Loch Ness (2001)
Review by HTQ4
Film:
DVD:

Written by Shane Bitterling & Justin Stanley, based on a story by Bitterling, Chuck Cominsky & Stanley
Directed by Chuck Cominsky
Starring Patrick Bergen, Brian Wimmer, Lysette Anthony, Lysa Apostle & Vernon Wells

Released by: Buena Vista.
Rating: PG-13
Region: 1
Anamorphic: Yes.

My Advice: Forget it.

After his mentor and friend is killed while on an expedition into the mysteries of Loch Ness, Case Howell (Wimmer) is forced into an investigatory expedition of the murky depths of the Loch to find out what happened to his friend. While he is under the Loch, he finds a series of caverns which just happen to house the very creature that has teased and eluded the men of Scotland and the world for centuries.

This movie is actually worse than that plot description makes it sound, if you can believe it. This cast puts forth an amazing effort trying to be the best "B" movie cast ever put together. Wimmer plays every cliche that's in Acting for Dummies under Chapter 7, "Stereotypical Asshole Mavericks." I'm just really amazed that Bergin is still getting cast in movies. He is quite possibly the best example of the consummate over-actor, although the rest of this cast gives him a run for his money. And, yes, they actually do paint part of his face blue like William Wallace.

All that having been said, it's hard to do a good movie about Loch Ness when the whole thing looks like it was shot somewhere on a lake in Southern California. And the music that is supposed to sound like a modern Scottish music is equally as bad. The shots that are supposed to be underwater look like the actors are on a soundstage just moving around slowly trying to act like they are underwater. Are you getting the idea of how this movie is put together?

With that diatribe out of the way, I guess not putting anything in the way of special features on the DVD is a good thing. All you get is a series of trailers for films other than the one you are (hopefully not) watching. There is not a commentary track, because, let's face it, what could you say to defend the fact that you tried to shoot a movie about Loch Ness anywhere but on location?

All in all, this one stays as close to the bottom of the "avoid it" pile as it can. Don't even look at the case too long. You'll get stupid.