Voltron, Defender of Your Arches

Voltron: The Shoes

You’ll forgive me if I’m a bit gabberflasted by this: Voltron shoes. And not just Voltron shoes like those cartoon-themed shoes you’d wear back in the 80s, these are full-on shoes with $80 to $135 price tags and such. And if there was any doubt the aging-geeks-with-money demographic wasn’t being targeted here, they each come with an action figure that, when you buy all five pairs of shoes, you can make into a Voltron. For the full pic, click here.

Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the milkman…I was stunned enough by the cheesy Voltron camera, but this takes the cake. Can we at least get some Prince Lotor shoes or something, just for some balance? Those can be the cheap $15 flip flops. But come on, something.

And is anybody not thinking of this? Didn’t think so.

Found via Uncrate.

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Flux Capacitor Replica: Yet Another Reason to Rob a Bank

Flux capacitor replica

This is pretty ri-goddamn-diculous: Entertainment Earth is selling a replica of the Flux Capacitor from Back to the Future.

Update: Alas, it’s no longer on their website. However, Amazon apparently has one for sale from one of their Used and New folks.

Here’s what they have to say for themselves:

Reproduced with full light effects and adjustable power settings, the Flux Capacitor replica recreates the 1.21 jigowatt-controlling heart of the De Lorean time machine. Measuring over 16-inches tall x 12-inches wide, each replica features hand-numbering with a matching box, certificate of authenticity and care instructions!

ETA for these things is May of next year. And yes, they are $275 smackers. But you can expect them to be mounted in geek cars all across the world as soon as they hit.

P.S. If you are crazy enough to order one of these things, A) we salute you for having more money than us and 2) do it through this link because we get kickbacks! Thanks!

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When Your Toilet Could Be Skynet, You Have a Problem

This Korean toilet, the Woongjin Looloo BA01 is pretty scary, but the Toto Neorest is also frightening. It uses the word “oscillating” alongside one’s nether regions (which can be disturbing in certain contexts, for example: a toilet) and has a wireless control panel. I guess that’s so you can enjoy the range of the water sprayer things.

Think for a moment all the terrible things you would have done with this thing as a kid. Just for a moment, though. Let’s not get crazy.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Update: It’s Toilet Night! No, just found another post from Pink Tentacle that fit this theme right after this one, so let’s slam it, shall we?

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Quilts for Grandma

Grandma quilt

Is anybody else on that list? You know: the mailing list where you get an endless wave of tacky, tacky catalogues filled with crap that, no matter how hard you soul search, you can’t figure out what you bought that triggered your inclusion? Yeah. I’m on that list.

At least the catalogues can be entertaining. Take a look at this quilt that you can get personalized for your grandmother. It says “Grandma, whenever you touch this heart, you’ll know that we love you.” And inside the heart you can put names, presumably names of the grandchildren.

Now that might sound sweet. It might sound warm, even, and inviting. Like it’s exactly the sort of thing you might want your grandmother to have across the back of her sofa. But not so fast.

Sure, it starts off innocently enough: she touches the heart, she knows you love her. But soon enough, when she’s not touching the heart, what will she think? She’ll find herself carrying the quilt about the house, ensuring that she’s got at least a finger on the heart, because the quilt says that what she has to do to know for certain that you love her. Taking it to bed, taking it into the shower, taking it everywhere lest she doubt for a moment your love.

So is that what you want for your grandmother? Is it? To be a quilted heart junkie? You heartless bastards.

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