The Bride’s Cake is The Bride

Chidi Ogbuta of Allen, Texas gets a cake that looks like her

Coming in February to the Food Network, it’s the new Culinary Masters of Horror line of TV movies. A pair of twins, who want the same man, come to a bitter and sweet end…find out what happens when Willy Wonka meets House of Wax. That’s right, it’s John Carpenter‘s HOUSE OF CAKE. The two taglines being used for promotion are “Here Comes the Bride…and a knife to serve her with!” and “This red velvet tastes a little funny…”

Or, you know, it could just be a woman who got a wedding cake that looks like her. But which sounds more interesting?

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Batter Blaster

Batter Blaster

What happens when you take the same principle behind Cheez Whiz and apply it to pancakes? You get Batter Blaster, where you apparently can just shake the aerosol can, point it at your griddle or pan, and then have pancakes or waffles mere minutes later. Unlike Cheez Whiz, though, this product says it’s organic. Not to imply that Cheez Whiz is officially inorganic, I just…oh hell, you know what I mean.

I don’t really like pancakes, so I don’t have a dog in this fight (and I mean that in a non-Michael Vick sort of way), but I still find the thing a bit unnerving.

Jim Gaffigan is going to work up a routine around this, if he hasn’t already. No doubt.

Found via Strange New Products.

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Mars Needs Sushi

Invasion of the Saucer-Men sushi

This Enjoy! Sushi product appears to be a train wreck of various concepts. Sort of like the “You got your chocolate in my peanut butter/You got your peanut butter in my chocolate” happened on the conceptual level and in some kind of strange fourth-dimensional space.

It’s gummi, first of all. Gummi sushi. Then bear in mind it is alien-themed gummi sushi. And the big-headed alien guy is saying “It’s a deliciously fun decapitated candy treat!” And of course, the gummi sushi is strawberry and blueberry flavored.

And what’s sad is that I would both buy this if we saw it at a convenience store. And you would too. Admit it.

Found at Junk Food Blog.

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Monster Cupcakes!

Monster cupcakes!

Wisdom of the Moon gives some great ideas for how to make Monster Cupcakes! Because any excuse to make cupcakes is a good excuse, and it is Halloweentime after all. Here’s the scoop on the one we have pictured here…

This last one’s my favorite (my sister did it- actually she did a lot of these) mainly because it reminds me of Kang and Kodos on the Simpsons. The tentacles are Laffy Taffy and the eyeball is a cut gumdrop with a mini chocolate chip shoved point-side into it. If you poke a hole in the gumdrop with a wooden skewer first, the chocolate chip slides in fairly easily.

Found via Rox.

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Morton Twinkie Suppers: Life Was Simpler Then

Morton Twinkie Supper

Dan Goodsell, keeper of obscure lore, has stumbled across evidence of something I never knew existed: TV dinners that come with Twinkies inside the box. That’s right: burger, fries, corn…and a Twinkie. Spaghetti, meatballs, what looks like peas…and a Twinkie. Was there ever a time in my life when I would have found those concepts appetizing in the least? I mean, I used to eat Twinkies, but with spaghetti?

Now I’m assuming the Twinkie had to be frozen too, right? So while a Twinkie might sound appealing, imagine a Twinkie you had to reheat. Egad, people.

And what’s great is that the Twinkie just isn’t enough–there’s another dessert in there too.

1974. When Twinkies weren’t just a snack, they were a part of dinner.

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