Et tu, Kitu?

Kitu Super Coffee Vanilla
Kitu Super Cold Brew Black
Kitu Super Espresso Triple Shot

Well, Kitu. Our meeting was inevitable. So I went ahead and grabbed three of your array of drinks and we had some quality time together. According to their containers, “It all started in our little brother’s dorm room…” Granted, a lot of stories can probably start like that, although I can guarantee you this is the only one that A) isn’t a horror story and 2) resulted in the launch of a line of coffee energy drinks. But yes, whatever happened in that dorm room (I kinda don’t want to know), resulted in them vowing to make healthy energy drinks. Which is good, because if you’re going to drink energy drinks (and if you come to this site, you probably are, let’s face it), you might as well try not to slowly kill yourself in the process.

This is where a lot of energy drinks get into trouble. If you’ve been on this site for more than about two minutes, you’ll know my utter contempt for artificial sweeteners. They make my eyelashes hurt. They make my mouth want to punch me in the face. They also enrage me because, as I’ve said many times, if I am drinking an energy drink, more sugar is indeed a problem but probably the least of my problems. Granted, most of my problems probably require therapy and a good night’s sleep, but when you’re reaching for an energy drink, you’re beyond all that. So Sucralose, Aspartame, Stevia…they are all Satanspawn.

(more…)

A Tale of a 121 Pound Daisy

Daisy the St. Bernard

We’ve all had days like this: you’ve gone a certain distance, but your legs hurt and you really feel like you can’t go any further. But then again, we’ve never been a 121 pound St. Bernard up Scafell Pike, highest mountain in England.

I understand your confusion. St. Bernards don’t get stuck up mountains and need rescuing. Instead, this is supposed to happen:

The Wasdale Mountain Rescue Team dispatched sixteen people, who took five hours to get the massive puppy in question, Daisy, down the mountain and to safety. 

Daisy was fine once she got to the bottom of the mountain. The Team was probably fine once they had taken some ibuprofen and a couple of pints.

Image: Wasdale Mountain Rescue Team.

Bill & Ted’s Self-Time Heist

William Sadler as Death from Bill and Ted Face the Music, enjoying some crafty

I may be considered a heretic, but I don’t care. (Have I ever?) I actually enjoyed Bogus Journey just slightly more than Excellent Adventure…mostly because of William Sadler’s portrayal of Death. So all that mattered to me was that he was returning for Face the Music. (This pic is from Ed Solomon’s Twitter, featuring the man himself enjoying some crafty on set.) The latest trailer is here:

(more…)

New Mutants Offers Footage to Prove It Actually Exists

New Mutants: The Motion Picture

I honestly thought that about two minutes into the New Mutants Comic-Con@Home panel, they were going to just decide FUCK IT and stream the movie out to everyone watching from home.

This did not happen.

However, they showed the first couple of minutes plus a final trailer that appears to show a LOT of Mr. Demon Bear. Check it out for yourself: 

(more…)