So Krispy Kreme have gotten into the spirit of the season by offering up three decorated Monster Doughnuts. They spell it “Doughnuts,” I usually spell it “Donuts,” let’s call the whole thing off. Anyway, I felt compelled to due my Halloween duties and try them out. And if you think I used this as an excuse to buy Krispy Kremes, well…you’re not wrong.
Don’t be worried that they’ve gone and done something outlandish. Two of them are easily recognizable. The orange one, “Hypno-Henry, The Cake Batter Monster,” is basically a decorated doughnut filled with their cake batter filling (which they’ve offered before). The mummy is “Mumford, the Mummy Monster,” which is basically a regular glazed donut with some decoration on it. All three Monster Doughnuts have eyes (and in some cases mouths) made of pure solid sugar. This is for those of you who feel like eating a Krispy Kreme doughnut isn’t blood sugar level destroying enough. So business as usual thus far, but…it’s the third one that bears some explanation.
The third is “Slimon, the Slime Monster.” According to their website, “An Original Glazed® doughnut with lemon slime filling, dipped in spooky green icing with a green Kreme dollop and covered in ‘slime.’” Now, maybe this is a green-colored version of some lemon filling that they offer normally, but I certainly hope not. Cosette was of the opinion that it simply tasted green. I would go farther: I would say that the lemon slime filling was like someone had taken normal lemon filling and exposed it to additional sugar like Bruce Banner was exposed to gamma rays. The end result is something that is not just sugary but also very angry about it. It was very rude to my taste buds and did the equivalent of overturning many tables in my mouth. The final verdict is somewhat shocking: for the first time in this household, a Krispy Kreme doughnut is getting thrown away, unfinished.
The first two are fun. The third would have gotten some points if they had billed it as a Re-Animator doughnut. But beyond that, they should have abandoned the “slime” and just followed Cadbury’s example of going with green-colored regular creme.
