Stuff You Need to Know: Comic-Con in a Nutshell. A Very Large Nutshell.

In case you hadn’t noticed, San Diego Comic-Con just happened. And lots of stuff gets announced and lots of trailers happen and it’s basically just crammed with things. Here, I’ve tried to take the high points of the chaos and condense them into one huge post. There are lots of videos. You might want to go get a sandwich.

Firstly, we have tiger. Walking Dead had their Season 7 trailer which held to their desire to keep the Lucilled victim from the end of last season a secret. This is something, to be honest, I’m amazed hasn’t leaked yet considering how the maniacs (read: fans) of the show watch everything they do like overly caffeinated hawks. Regardless, we got a look at Shiva and no doubt the giant feline and Carol got the biggest laughs from Hall H. Khary Payton will be playing the Dread King Ezekiel.

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The unlikeliest of rescue missions may be underway. You’re about to watch the latest Suicide Squad trailer. Because the film’s reception thus far vs. the grim mess that Batman v Superman was, it might bring some much needed humor to the DC Cinematic Universe.

It’s because of Suicide Squad that the following Justice League trailer doesn’t make your eyeballs bleed. That’s just my theory. You are welcome to look at the evidence and form the same theory on your own.

There were two good things about BvS: Affleck as Batman and Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. And this trailer will give you something I didn’t even know I needed to see. See if you can guess what it is.

Did you guess: Wonder Woman going over the top in World War I to tell the Germans how she really feels about trench warfare? If so, then you are right. If you don’t think that looks pretty badass, then you should probably check…someone may have slipped you decaf.

On Flash, in the DCTVU (I guess that’s what it’s called), Flashpoint is taking off as Flash rewrote time at the end of the second season. I’m guessing that makes what’s happening in the show the “new DCTVU” or…something? Have we reached TV Hypertime already?

And on the Marvel front, The Vulture is going to be the villain for Spider-Man: Homecoming and the footage from the Con isn’t available yet. But give it time. Brie Larson is going to be Captain Marvel. In Black Panther, Michael B. Jordan is playing Erik Killmonger. If the name didn’t already give it away, he’s the villain. Lupita Nyong’o will be playing one of T’Challa’s badass bodyguards and Walking Dead badass Danai Gurira will be doubling down on her baddassery by playing the leader of said bodyguards.

In Marvel TV Land, of course, Netflix showed up with the Luke Cage trailer, which looks like a Sam’s Wholesale Club purchase of whoopass.

Then we have the show following Cage, his comic book partner Iron Fist. Very little to go on here, but it is a teaser. I eagerly await the next trailer which should have much asskicking. If you’ve seen the fight sequences in Daredevil thus far, then…well, this could be exciting. (Speaking of which, Daredevil was renewed for a third season.)

I almost didn’t include the Defenders trailer here, because you don’t need to know about it beyond that it happened. But Scott Glenn as Stick is worthy, even only in voiceover.

Also on Agents of SHIELD, Ghost Rider is coming. Thankfully, Nicolas Cage is not. Not quite sure how Ghost Rider will fit in with what’s happening in the wake of the time jump that ended Season 3, but I’ve dug the show so far. If Nick Blood and Adrianne Palicki, since their spinoff isn’t happening (again)…if they could come back, that would be great, though.

And elsewhere in this magical land, on FX, we have Legion, which I keep forgetting is happening. The trailer is here:

Unbelievably, there are some movies and shows not based on comics. There’s a new trailer for Fantastic Beasts and it looks like fun. Wizards battling each other and large creatures in period New York? Deal me in.

I had zero interest in King Arthur: Legend of the Sword until I found that Guy Ritchie was helming it. He’s apparently making a very GuyRitchian medieval flick and if this rubs you the wrong way and you didn’t see Man From UNCLE, then this is your fault. As for me, I just want a fun, mental film with monstrous elephants in it. My requirements are modest.

Ash vs. Evil Dead has a second season red band trailer. More of the same madness appears to be on the way. But they’ve apparently gotten Lee Majors to play Ash’s dad. Wow.

Any Japanese Godzilla film has some merit to it, in my opinion. Others who share that opinion will be glad to know that the latest mad kaiju film will hit American cinemas later this year.

One of my guilty pleasure time travel flicks, Time After Time (which starred Malcolm McDowell and David Warner), is apparently being turned into a TV series. You probably didn’t need to know that, but it just…makes my eyelashes hurt. (Source.)

And last but definitely not least, the Season 4 Sherlock trailer has dropped, which looks almost as fantastic as Toby Jones looks evil as hell.

That’s it. Hope you enjoyed your sandwich.

Stuff You Need to Know: Comic-Con in a Nutshell. A Very Large Nutshell.

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