Tis the season for the internet to be inundated with articles on the latest in ridiculous ‘sexy [blank]’ costumes. You know, Sexy Nurse, Sexy Sexy Teacher, Sexy SWAT commando. Even geek culture is not immune from this. Take the picture above. In case they’re not obvious (or in case one look was sufficient and you don’t wish to repeat the experience), yes, you are seeing Sexy Beetlejuice, Sexy Pikachu from Pokemon, and Sexy Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants. I hate when reality is a better comedy writer than I am.
Now, I am not slut shaming. I am the last person to shame sluts, trust me. But some people for various reasons don’t want to expose so much so that the whole world is your gynecologist. Also, some of you want to show some class instead of some ass. So if you’re going out tonight or partying this weekend (I know it’s November, but hey, any excuse) I thought I would offer a few suggestions on costumes that are geeky and sexy but don’t make you look like a streetwalker.
[ad#longpost]The first costume is Colonel Samantha Carter from Stargate franchise. She shows that not only can women be in combat, they can take down ancient alien armies, rampaging replicating robots, and other threats to Earth. She holds a Ph.D. in astrophysics and doesn’t have a problem using it, even in front of the master of Science Fu, MacGyver. Her costume is relativity simple. You can obtain the BDUs from any Army and Navy store. Preferably, for accuracy, you should get the Airman Battle Uniform (ABU) but the old BDUs will probably do as well. I know you probably have some Stargate patches just lying around (these) and you are ready to kick some Goa’uld butt.
Next is Irene Adler, specifically the version from the BBC version with Benedict Cumberbatch and Lara Pulver as The Woman. While Irene wears quite a few fashionable and fabulous outfits in “A Scandal in Belgravia”, all you really is Sherlock’s Belstaff ‘Milford’ Coat (or a decent equivalent), a riding crop (which everybody already owns…right?), and blood colored lipstick. High heels are optional but what is really required is the attitude. To pull this attitude off, you must imagine every man and woman at the party is desperate for your touch, especially for the sting of your crop on their flesh. Of course, you’ll give them what they want until they beg for mercy, twice.
For more flexibility, there is the scientist. In this case, the costume will revolve around that international symbol of smartiness: the lab coat. With a stencil and some spray-paint, a prop I.D. card, or some patches, you can be pretty much any scientist from any genre property. With the right outfit from Talbots, you can be from Jemma Simmons of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.; with some discards from that ex-goth you know, you can be Abby from N.C.I.S.; and a Tom Baker scarf and an inhaler, you can be Osgood from Doctor Who.
Hopefully, these suggestions will help you create a relatively simple but very geeky costume that can show out your most sexy part: your brain.
And if you want to share your Halloween costume, feel free to email a picture to scottc@needcoffee.com. Show me what you got!
