I am on the Four Hour Body Slow-Carb Diet. Say what you will, but it works for me. Part of the reason it works for me and you haven’t spotted me climbing up a tower with a flintlock rifle on a Thursday…is that it tells you to plan falling off the wagon instead of just letting it happen and feeling bad about it afterwards. Saturday is my cheat day and every Saturday I don’t just fall off the wagon, I steer the wagon towards an active volcano and throw myself out of the driver’s side at the last second.
Thus, I share with you this past Saturday’s inordinately evil creation. This is in recipe form so you can follow along at home. And remember, kids, what Lord Fanny always told us: “Nothing exceeds like excess.” I call this… Chocolate and Coffee Dystopia.
Please note: earlier in the day I had consumed both a bourbon chocolate shake from West Egg Cafe and a Jack & Coke Slushie from Victory Sandwich Bar, both located here in the Atlanta metro area. I’m not saying that I was creating a dessert under the influence…I’m Just Saying.
[ad#rightpost]Step 1. Mix equal parts from both Shock Coffee and Death Wish Coffee, both known for being tasty and uber-caffeinated. Make some coffee with it.
Step 2. Sip coffee while you pick out a bowl. Remember: the size of the bowl defines the size of your dessert, so don’t go too big. Unless you really want to. Then by all means.
Step 3. Into this bowl place one (1) espresso chocolate chip cookie from Whole Foods.
Step 4. Against the cookie place two-plus scoops of Caffeine and Cacao Ice Cream from High Road Craft Ice Cream.
Step 5. Into the ice cream embed the better portion of a Coffee: Cacao Expressions bar from Cacao Atlanta. If you look closely at it in the picture, you may ask: “Does that bar have a coffee bean with wings on it?” Yes. Yes it does.
Step 6. Get someone else to refill your coffee mug. Because you’ve been drinking it and you must move quickly lest the ice cream melt.
Step 7. Into bowl and over contents drizzle liquor. In this case I used some Godiva Liqueur and Van Gogh Double Espresso Double Caffeine Vodka.
Step 8. Eat it. Keep your cackling to a minimum. (I did not.)
Step 9. When you finish the madness, you will notice some melted ice cream and left over liquor in the bowl. Waste nothing. Pour into your coffee. Finish coffee. Moan. Happily.
