How old were you when Return of the Jedi came out? Me, I was eleven. And yes, at the time I was entertained by the little furry guys known as Ewoks. I didn’t understand–and honestly, who could foresee–that this was indicative of the overly family friendly direction Lucas would take in his franchise?
I know that many of you love the Ewoks. Fair enough. Cosette and Thespia speak with great affection of watching The Ewok Adventure as children. If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard them say “The Ewok Adventure…brought to you by…Huggies,” then I could, well, afford a really nice sandwich.
But still. I think our rampaging green friend below ultimately speaks for all of us when he expresses his reaction to the metaphor that is an Ewok: cute, furry, cuddly–but ultimately hostile and ready to jab your beloved franchise with a spear.
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Why do people always block out that the Ewoks were about to roast the protagonists alive, and eat them? And all the rebels even block it out when they’re celebrating with them at the end, and the Ewoks are playing xylophone on the severed heads of Stormtroopers. I hope they didn’t eat anything from the buffet that night.
Also, why is Lando so quickly forgiven and turned into a hero? It was HIS torture chamber Vader used. What kind of sick dictatorship did Lando run in Cloud City? He even had a personal slave he could control with a remote. What the hell, people!
Even Luke used Vader’s evil signature “Force choke” on the poor Gamorrean guards at Jabba’s palace, when it moments later was established he could just have used his Jedi mind trick on them. What a sick and twisted family!
I think the “Huggies” bit goes a long way towards blocking out things about the Ewoks. And honestly, if they weren’t considered a transitional stage between Lucas the Child in All of Us Appeaser and Lucas the Appeaser of Just Kids, then I think they wouldn’t get so much grief.