We’ve all seen them: the series where some hapless, but lovable Hugh Grant-wannabe somehow manages to charm all the ladies around him (who are, of course, totally out of his class) without even trying or indeed even realizing that he’s done it. Poor fool. But how does he do it? How, in fact, can you tell when it’s happening to you? Need Coffee comes once again to the rescue! This handy checklist will provide you with the certainty you crave. If at least eight of these ten items are true for you, then you, lucky dog, are the star male of a harem anime series! Make the most of it! w00t!
(And sorry, ladies: while technically both ladies and gentlemen can be the focus of a harem series, it’s usually the guys, so this time, we’re doing them. In a list, I mean.)
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10. Because you are a disgraceful pervert and yet can’t bring yourself to take advantage of the situation, you get so many nosebleeds, the local otolaryngologists have you on speed-dial.
9. You’re clueless and charmingly incompetent. Another day, another embarrassment. Apart from public mayhem, expect a lot of injuries, often caused by yourself and by the object(s) of your affections.
8. Your parents (especially your mother) are totally missing, preferably dead or in outer space. Or both, if you can swing that. If they are even so much as mentioned, they must be impossibly rich.
7. At least four girls hang around you all the time. Plus at least one of them is an alien/replicant/maid/Valkyrie/goddess/space pirate. (Circle at least one.)
6. There’s a hot spring in your backyard consistently brimming with naked hot chicks (or in pinch, betoweled hot chicks), and you probably didn’t even invite them. If you don’t have a hot spring on your own property, then you absolutely must have a bathhouse down the street.
5. Other guys keep challenging you to a fight, usually to the death. Also, usually, these are dudes you have never met before but that matters not a whit: they still want you dead.
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4. You’re the RA/dorm father/apartment manager/whatever of a building, and all the residents look like the above.
3. You know a lot of impossibly beautiful girls, and not a one of them already has a Significant Other. It is possible she has a fiancé she denies having and keeps trying to ditch. And he’ll hate you. A lot. All these girls are stunning, intelligent, capable (usually), and often have magical powers.
2. You have very goofy hair and probably glasses, though you’ll still be relatively cute.
And the #1 tip-off that you’re the male star of a harem series…
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1. Everybody wants you, but you’ve never had an actual date…and you won’t until, after many mishaps and assorted hijinks, you finally choose only one girl.
Did we miss anything? Has this happened to you and you wish to provide your own tips? Seek below for the comment form and inform us. Thanks!
