So each week we try to give you something–just a little something–to help with the pain of the work week to come. Consider this post your leather belt to bite down on as the Wild West surgeon extracts the bullet that is your humdrum life from your leg.
Or…something. I don’t know: the metaphor looked better in my head. Anyway, here we go…
As a founding member of the new World Bacon Council, I felt it only appropriate that we locate some bits of bacony…well, not goodness. But can anything involving bacon be bad? Well, it can certainly be confusing. Exhibit A. Through G.
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Direct link for the feedreaders.
Now that you’ve watched it, let me share my theory: someone gave a hit of acid to their dog as part of a cool prank. As a result, that entire thirty second video is what the dog sees during its DTs. That or its a snippet from a trailer about a horror movie in which human genes are spliced with pork.
Speaking of horror movies, check this blast from the past out:
Direct link for the feedreaders.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Widge, I’ve seen that. That’s not terribly mind destroying.” Well, it is. And no, it’s not because of the terrible acting. It’s because both mother and son have the ability to move bacon with their minds. Otherwise known as porkokinesis. Now rewatch the video and imagine that right after the commercial ends, George C. Scott bursts in to collect them all in the name of The Shop.
And in case that wasn’t odd enough for you, then have this last one. NSFW.
Wow! Even nudists know that bacon spits and spatters. Foolish! Foolish I say! Any nudist who eats bacon would surely wear an apron to keep from getting hot grease popped on to their wobbly bits.