So Miss Cellania posted this: BlahblahFish. It’s a service that allows you to type in text and it will then translate the text into the language of your choice and then back again, with all of the hilarity that such translations provide. For a while earlier tonight, it was getting slammed. Just imagine, those of you old enough to see the novelty in this: I was getting exasperated that an automatic service that would do this was overloaded, and I might have to go and do this manually. Manually in this case meaning use a translation engine like Babelfish directly twice. Does that give you a sudden moment of “Whoa…what?” like it does me? Just curious.
Anyway, just for grins and explosives, I decided to throw my usual order at Starbucks into the word-crusher and see what came out the other side.
The original English version is: “I’d like a venti white chocolate mocha with no whip, low fat milk, half the amount of mocha and three extra espresso shots, please.” For those of you keeping score at home, yes, that means my usual drink at Starbucks is with five shots of espresso.
Anyway, my favorites among the translations are below. The Korean version is like something out of the Burroughs cut-up method, whereas the Slovenian version is even moreso. The Welsh one is actually better than a lot of blank verse poetry I used to hear at readings.
[ad#longpost]Italian: I’d like mocha a white man of the twenty chocolate without the whip, latte to lowland the percentage of fat people, the half of amount of mocha and three additional blows of the expressed coffee, please.
Dutch: I’d such as mocha of the venti white chocolate without flogs, with low vetgehalte milk, half of the quantity mocha and three extra espresso shots, satisfied.
Greek: I the [d] as one of white mocha chocolate venti without knocks, low content in greasy milk, half the sum mocha and three additional gunfires espresso, requests.
French: I’d like a white chocolate mocha coffee of venti without the whip, milk with low content of fat contents, half of the quantity of mocha coffee and three additional espresso coffee projectiles, please.
Russian: I’d as mocha of the chocolate of venti is white without the whip, low – fat milk, half of a quantity of mocha and 3 special surveys of espresso, if you please.
Korean: I’ The whip and low-end the fat milk, Mocha ocean halves and 3 extra S [phu] [ley] small without burns venti white chocolate Mocha together d.
Chinese: I’ Looks like cup of venti white chocolate superior coffee d not to have the whip, the low fat milk, the half considerable amount superior coffee and three extra thick coffee fire, invites.
Japanese: I’ The rod, low the fat milk, quantitative half of [moka] and shock of three excessive espressos it is not d like venti white [chiyokoretomoka], we ask.
Danish: I’d straight a valve white chocolate mocha by no whip, mean pompous milk, half the amount to mocha and three spare espresso shot, please.
Hungarian: I’d like to one blowhole white chocolate mocha val not whip, low full-bodied milk, it’s afraid the tot ból mocha and three extra- espresso shot, should be kind.
Icelandic: Alluvial with I had or I would as though a ventilate white chocolate mocha with repulse whip, minimum well-fed milk, half the quantity with mocha and þrÃr extra espresso shot, satisfy.
Norwegian: I’d equal a valve white chocolate mocha along with absolutely no beat, low basilica milk, half amount at mocha and three additional espresso pick, please.
Filipino: I’d like a exclaim white chocolate mocha withdraw not flog, inferior fat milk, half the amount of mocha and three extra espresso shot, please.
Slovenian: I’d like however window circulation izvrÅ¡ilec lynch chocolate mocha with thingummy scarify Z sedge, low seasoner milk, terminal value I with mocha and three specific espresso sling, you’re welcome.
Welsh: I’ heartburn I love I go venti I may whiten chocolate pig with I do I whip, I burden lard I milk, heifer ‘ group he raises with pig I go ‘ heartburn three extra espresso we struck, please.
Starbucks only puts 2 shots in a 20oz. mocha? Pansies.
We put Four.