Stuff You Need to Know, Monday, November 10, 2008

On some sites, each of these snippets would be an entire 500 word post. We don’t have time for that crap and neither do you. Enjoy.

A Happy Days musical? Apparently so. And apparently it’s been around since 2006. If you want to see a review of the latest incarnation, check it out here. And I found a commercial for it with some bits.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Did he say “kickass”? Is that allowed?

Well apparently they got what they wanted: Djimon Hounsou will voice the Black Panther in the BET/Marvel animated series. They still haven’t come to their senses and used a decent storyline to adapt, however. Christopher Priest or nothing, folks. I’m sorry, but that’s how it goes. Source: Variety.

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From the people who brought you The Tudors comes… Camelot! Camelot! Camelot! (It’s only a Showtime series.) SHH! Yes, well, Showtime and the BBC, anyway. The article doesn’t mention when we’ll see it. Although if they get a Pythoner on board as a regular, I will watch it.

Captain America has a director. Joe Johnston (Hidalgo) is on board but no scribe yet. And here’s something I hadn’t heard before: the movie takes place in World War II. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Carjacked will star Ron Perlman and Saffron Burrows. It’s about a single mother who, along with her kid, has the title happen to her by a bank robber. I’m assuming Perlman is the robber and Burrows is the mother because Perlman is not a guy I would ever want to try and take his car from. Just doesn’t seem healthy. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

At City Opera, the previously mentioned Brokeback opera and Walt Disney opera are non-starters after the general manager has departed the company. Source: Variety.

The Cleveland Show is getting pushed back to next year, although it did get a full season ordered for when it does arrive. Looks like we have another year of just two unfunny Seth McFarlane shows on television. We wished Family Guy back from the dead using that monkey’s paw…but we regretted it. Oh, did we regret it. Source: Variety.

Conan‘s coming. And Brett Ratner has decided to do that project instead of Beverly Hills Cop 4, which he had been–and apparently still is–attached to. BHC4 will get shunted to the back burner. Ratner is now in talks to lock down on Conan, which they want in cinemas in 2010. Last I had heard, Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain were reworking the script, but the latest article states that Ratner’s on board with the script by Joshua Oppenheimer and Thomas Dean Donnelly (A Sound of Thunder) which they are reworking for Ratner. If they can just do what all the big successful adaptations have done this year–follow the source material–then they’ll be fine. If they follow the Ratner-X3 model, then the whole thing is fucked from the get-go.

The Danish Girl will star Charlize Theron and Nicole Kidman as Greta and Einar Wegener. Nicole Kidman will play Einar who impersonated a female so that Greta (Theron) could paint him/her. Then in 1931, Einar decided to become the world’s first post-op transsexual and stop impersonating women and become one. Anand Tucker (Shopgirl) will helm. Apparently the article says Kidman is also attached to play Dusty Springfield in a biopic. No production date yet.

Pitof, whose Catwoman was so bad apparently he’s been banned from making films in English-speaking countries, has signed on in China to helm Empires of the Deep, which they’re characterizing as Star Wars meets mermaids. I’m not kidding. “We came up with an original story when we understood that every culture has its own ideas about mermaids. But we are pitching this as something like ‘Star Wars’ under the sea,” said Harrison Liang, the producer. Irvin Kershner, yes, the guy who directed a really really good film with Empire in the title, is producing as well. Film should hit cinemas in 2010. Source: Variety.

The Expendables will star Stallone, Jason Statham and Jet Li (who’s wrapping up his deal now) as mercenaries who are basically a suicide squad who will go where no other team of highly paid action stars would dare to. Stallone also wants Forest Whitaker to join the cast. Stallone wrote the screenplay and will helm. Then he will probably follow up with a new Rambo film. Production starts in February. Source: Hollywood Reporter and this article too.

King of the Hill might find itself another throne, after we previously mentioned it was about to abdicate. ABC might be looking to pick up the series when Fox kills it, since they already have The Goode Family coming from Mike Judge anyway. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Life fans rejoice: the show has been picked up for a full season. Source: Variety.

The director who brought you Mongol, Sergei Bodrov, is next going to bring you Marco Polo. Actually, the full title is The Silk Road: The Adventures of Marco Polo, which is Just Too Damn Long. They also state there will not be a swimming pool in the film. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

From the “Sounds So Dumb It Could Be Brilliant” Department, spoof movies are getting spoofed in Not Another Not Another Movie. From the article: “[Chevy] Chase plays a studio head who quits his floundering company, leaving his ex-con sibling ([Michael] Madsen) in charge. Soon their equally inept gangster friend ([Vinnie] Jones) takes over and assigns a production assistant (David Leo Schultz) to direct a spoof of spoof movies. [Burt] Reynolds plays an actor playing the director of the chaotic film within the film.” Meta much? The production is already almost over.

Road to Purgatory? Apparently so. It’s being called just “Purgatory”–but that title sucks. But regardless, it’s the sequel to the most excellent comic book adaptation Road to Perdition. Max Allan Collins who created the series of graphic novels also created the sequels and will adapt and direct the film. It follows what happens to the son following the events of Perdition. Source: Variety.