In a shocking announcement that is shaking the New Chicago political establishment, a robot clock has come forward to tell a horrific tale of sex, lies, and microprocessors.
“Everyone knows him as the cool rational member of the Computer Council, but behind closed doors, he’s a sexual demon,” Kim, the robot clock said. “He would want to interface a dozen times a day, access all my unused ports, and use the most obscene protocols. I was constantly in fear that my battery would run down permanently.”
[ad#longpost]Most of the details of Theopolis’ alleged electronic erotic escapades are not available since the hearings into this matter have been closed to the press, but Kim promises she will tell all in her upcoming book from Megadodo Publications. She did give a couple of tidbits. “He was obsessed with his performance. He would have me constantly tell him the time so he could see how long his sessions lasted. He also had me crow like a rooster when it was time for him to meet with Dr. Huer of the Earth Defense Directorate. I don’t know why, I didn’t want to know.”
When asked about the sordid allegations, Dr. Theopolis’ spokesrobot Twiki only responded, “Bidi-bidi-bidi,” which translates to “No comment.” We think. The only other comment was from Captain William “Buck” Rogers, the famed astronaut who survived over five hundred years in accidental cryogenic suspension. When he asked to comment, he said, “Really? I always thought Theo was gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.”
We will inform you of more details as they develop.