Upon the insistence of Damien, I have snagged a Mo’s Bacon Bar. It’s chocolate, which rocks. It’s bacon, which rocks. What could possibly go wrong?
Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this bar. I can taste the applewood smoked bacon. I can taste the salt, although I’d be hard pressed to swear upon a stack of books by Robert Anton Wilson that I can taste the smoked-ness. I’d have to try it separately from the chocolate and bacon in order to be able to see if I can tell. (Yes, I’m talking about salt taste tests–I have no life.) And the deep milk chocolate is accounted for.
Here’s the trouble: rather than being an “exotic candy bar,” it tastes like I sprinkled tiny bacon bits on my chocolate. I don’t mean I cooked up some applewood smoked bacon and got it nice and crispy and crumbled it up into bacon bits. I mean it’s like I opened a bottle of Oscar Meyer Bacon Bits and sprinkled them on a chocolate bar. A good chocolate bar, mind you, but that’s about it.
Does that mean that the experience is unpleasant? No. Rather than the train wreck you’re expecting–where meat and chocolate are like when your friends from work and your friends from not-work meet at your Christmas party and get all awkward–it’s just…terribly underwhelming. In fact, by the third square of the bar I wasn’t even getting the bacony flavor in the bite, just that bacon aftertaste you get after a meal involving bacon. Which isn’t as demoralizing to experience it as it is to read this and imagine experiencing it, but it’s not exactly exotic, is it?
For one thing, bacon bits on a chocolate bar would be a helluva lot cheaper to snag. I’d give you a link to buy it via Amazon but the shipping is atrocious and I wouldn’t do that to you.