Why in the hell would you try to keep up with pop culture yourself? Outsource it to us. We’re professionals.
No, wait, I can’t let that go.
Who the hell’s going to stage a land war in the heart of America? Are they going to make it a period piece and have it be the Soviets? No, I propose this: MAPLE DAWN. Our neighbors to the north, the Canadians, invade with no warning. They’re tired of seeing all of our film production go overseas instead of up north. Plus, it’s cold where they are. They don’t even have to airdrop in…they just drive south. And Leigh…total sleeper agent.
“Well, who is on our side?”
“Four and a half million Quebecois.”
“Last I heard, there were seven and a half million Quebecois.”
- Death Defying Acts is a film Weinstein’s producing with Guy Pearce as Harry Houdini and Catherine Zeta-Jones as a psychic out to con him. Intrigued? Me too. It opens this Friday in limited release stateside. Have you heard of it before? Me neither. If only somebody somewhere had a trailer.
Oh, silly me, this is 2008. Have at:
Yes, that is Chazzie-nominated Saoirse Ronan as Catherine’s sidekick.
- Inglorious Bastards, the WWII epic from Quentin Tarantino that we’ve been hearing about for years is still on its way. Tarantino wants to finish in time for Cannes 2009. They’re trying to get a partner on the deal. How hard can this be? Kill Bill collectively, made its budget back three times over worldwide, and that’s not counting DVD sales, nor is it counting the deluge of coin they will get when they finally release the Uber Mongo Edition of the films. Granted, there was Grindhouse–and you’re right, I don’t know what they were thinking there. But still.
- Nine has a co-financier. This is a musical, yes. Yes, it’s directed by Rob Marshall (Chicago). And it starts production this fall. But here’s what got my attention: Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz and Daniel Day-Lewis. Previously, Javier Bardem was in the film but reportedly left after snagging the Oscar. This means that Daniel Day-Lewis has been working on singing and dancing since roughly this time last year and, moreover, built a dance studio from the ground up with his bare hands on his property. He then built an orchestra from the ground up with his bare hands and has been practicing with them twenty-five hours a day. The man is NOT HUMAN.