Stuff: Red Dawn Remade With Canadians Attacking? Joke. It’s a Joke.

Why in the hell would you try to keep up with pop culture yourself? Outsource it to us. We’re professionals.

Vertigo’s Exterminators, from Simon Oliver and Tony Moore, is headed for Showtime. I admit I haven’t read the book…should I?

Alfred Hitchcock is getting a boxed set that’s worth checking out from MGM: the Premiere Collection. It’s eight discs featuring Rebecca, Spellbound, Notorious, The Paradine Case, Sabotage, Young and Innocent, Lifeboat and The Lodger. They all feature new commentaries and “featurettes, screen tests, still galleries, vintage radio interviews, an AFI Tribute to Hitchcock and more.” It sounds pretty sweet, although I’ll reserve judgement to see how well the main three releases stack up to their out-of-print Criterion compatriots. SRP is $120, so hopefully the Amazon discount will be steep. Not available yet on Amazon, I’ll keep you posted.

Rupert Grint, yes, Ron Weasley, is on board with Cherrybomb. It’s, the article tells us, “a Belfast-set teen drama about two friends whose furious competition for a beautiful but manipulative girl has tragic consequences.” Sounds like it could be an indie success–let’s hope so, because I like all three of the main Harry Potter actors and I want them to succeed. In fact, it was Radcliffe I was the most concerned about and he’s doing just fine with his post-Potter plans. So rock on. Although I will point out that, since they are all young, they qualify for the Nuts on the Road shitlist.

Ricky Jay has apparently got his stage show, Ricky Jay and His 52 Assistants, playing for seven weeks in Los Angeles starting…oh, hell, today. I don’t know if there are tickets available…Ticketbastard lists the prices starting at $75 and going up to $250. If the $250 meant I’d be guaranteed to get on stage and be part of the poker segment, I’d pay it. Why? Watch this:

Direct link for the feedreaders.

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Oh yes, that picture…terrifying, isn’t it? It’s Mola Ram from Temple of Doom in Mighty Mugg mode. Look at the look on his face…it’s like he peered into the Ark, isn’t it? And what’s with that kid-friendly looking heart? Mighty Muggs are apparently another ploy to take the same characters you’ve already bought in several whacked out forms and put them into a new whacked out form so you’ll buy them again. You can see the full review from Michael’s toy reviews here. You can see Indiana Jones, whose head is the shape of a cheese wheel.

Mutant Zombie Vampires From the Hood! It sounds like C. Thomas Howell is starring in a cross between Assault on Precinct 13 and Night of the Comet. And you know what? I’m good with that.

Tucker Max, the man who’s taken acting the prick to professional and hilarious levels, is doing a movie based on his book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Matt Czuchry (Gilmore Girls) is going to be playing Max. You can see the movie blog here. Thanks to Doting Matrix for the headsup.

They’re remaking Red Dawn. That’s really all you need to know. I thought you should hear it from a friend.

No, wait, I can’t let that go.

Who the hell’s going to stage a land war in the heart of America? Are they going to make it a period piece and have it be the Soviets? No, I propose this: MAPLE DAWN. Our neighbors to the north, the Canadians, invade with no warning. They’re tired of seeing all of our film production go overseas instead of up north. Plus, it’s cold where they are. They don’t even have to airdrop in…they just drive south. And Leigh…total sleeper agent.

“Well, who is on our side?”
“Four and a half million Quebecois.”
“Last I heard, there were seven and a half million Quebecois.”
“There were.”

Run For Your Life is a film described as an “organ transplant thriller,” which is the sort of sub-sub-genre that didn’t exist a few years back. Joining the cast are Rosanna Arquette, Jordi Molla (who was the King of Spain in the unfortunate Elizabeth 2), and Vincent Perez (the French Crow). Dermot Mulroney and Diane Kruger are already in. Sam Shepard makes any role worth watching. Next up, the animal adoption thriller.

The latest on Harvey Weinstein’s projects:

Death Defying Acts is a film Weinstein’s producing with Guy Pearce as Harry Houdini and Catherine Zeta-Jones as a psychic out to con him. Intrigued? Me too. It opens this Friday in limited release stateside. Have you heard of it before? Me neither. If only somebody somewhere had a trailer.
Oh, silly me, this is 2008. Have at:

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Yes, that is Chazzie-nominated Saoirse Ronan as Catherine’s sidekick.
Inglorious Bastards, the WWII epic from Quentin Tarantino that we’ve been hearing about for years is still on its way. Tarantino wants to finish in time for Cannes 2009. They’re trying to get a partner on the deal. How hard can this be? Kill Bill collectively, made its budget back three times over worldwide, and that’s not counting DVD sales, nor is it counting the deluge of coin they will get when they finally release the Uber Mongo Edition of the films. Granted, there was Grindhouse–and you’re right, I don’t know what they were thinking there. But still.

Nine has a co-financier. This is a musical, yes. Yes, it’s directed by Rob Marshall (Chicago). And it starts production this fall. But here’s what got my attention: Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz and Daniel Day-Lewis. Previously, Javier Bardem was in the film but reportedly left after snagging the Oscar. This means that Daniel Day-Lewis has been working on singing and dancing since roughly this time last year and, moreover, built a dance studio from the ground up with his bare hands on his property. He then built an orchestra from the ground up with his bare hands and has been practicing with them twenty-five hours a day. The man is NOT HUMAN.

Stuff: Red Dawn Remade With Canadians Attacking? Joke. It’s a Joke.

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