CBS is going to be airing AFI’s 10 Top 10, in which the top 10 films in 10 genres are revealed. The AFI has also tapped ten artists “associated with each category” to present them and offer their insight on them as they do. All this according to Hollywood Reporter. This program airs on June 17th.
Some of the choices are no brainers. Some of them…we have some suggestions to make them better. Box office info taken from Box Office Mojo, the nexus of all box office info.
Clint Eastwood presents the Top 10 Westerns. No arguments will be given or tolerated. Only thing is he’s probably going to be involved with one or two of them. At least.
Quentin Tarantino presents the Top 10 Gangster Films. I think we’re fine with this one, just because Tarantino is such a film nerd if he geeks out as he should then the show will be entertaining enough just for that.
[ad#longpost]Jessica Alba presents the Top 10 Romantic Comedies. Obviously, Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks and almost anyone else was busy the day they wanted to shoot this. Now, look: I don’t necessarily want to pick on Alba. Okay, maybe a little. But her best box office moments are playing the Invisible Woman and dancing in Sin City. Honestly, you know you tap for this? Nia Vardalos. Her little romantic comedy called My Big Fat Greek Wedding cost $5 million to make and did $368 million worldwide. Maybe you’ve heard of it.
Cuba Gooding Jr. presents the Top 10 Sports Movies. I guess this is for Jerry Maguire, because Snow Dogs is…well. Yeah. Oh wait, Radio! But…well. Yeah. Sylvester Stallone is a good pick, as is Kevin Costner. But we’d tap Bill Murray. And you know why. Probably the most entertaining pairing though would be Emilio Estevez. And you know why there, too. But hell, Pelé was in Victory, and that’s not a bad soccer film. That all being said, if this gets Cuba Gooding Jr. some better exposure so he can get some better roles in something, then we’re game. He is just too good to be in the films he’s been in recently.
Sigourney Weaver presents the Top 10 Sci-Fi Movies. Nice choice. The Alien franchise is one of the most successful, at least when it comes to box office. Kurt Russell also springs to mind. The ideal presenter, Douglas Adams, could not be reached in time to book him for this gig. Although Adams would have been the ideal presenter for…nearly anything. Sigh.
Kirk Douglas presents the Top 10 Epic Movies. Any dissenters? No? Good.
Jennifer Love Hewitt presents the Top 10 Animated Movies. Wait, what? Is this because of the Garfield movies? I know you’re going for a name, but at least get a name that’s better associated with animation. Which would be…um, practically anyone else. Granted, we’d vote for Andreas Deja, the Chazzie award winning cel animator who stuck to his guns at Disney when everything else was falling apart around him. Or John Canemaker, animation historian. But if you really do want a name who knows a thing or two about working with animation in front of the camera: Bob Hoskins.
James Woods presents the Top 10 Courtroom Dramas. You know, I’m good with this. And hey, he’s better associated with animation than Hewitt. So there’s that, too.
Gabriel Byrne presents the Top 10 Mysteries. Usual Suspects. Okay, I think I’m okay with that. And Byrne‘s good with anything, so fine. And hey, he’s also better associated with animation than Hewitt. So there’s that, too.
Sean Astin presents the Top 10 Fantasy Movies. Okay, fine. Lord of the Rings. I can see how that fits. You’re either going with that or with somebody from the Harry Potter films, so that’s a far cop, I suppose. Although Terry Gilliam would have been fun to present this, or even The Neil–he counts, he’s got about fifteen active projects in Hollywood these days. But yes, they’re going with actors. And if you can’t get Ian McKellen, then fine. And you know what? He’s also better associated with…yeah, you got it.
Who would you pick?
Oh, and one thing they left out: the Top 10 Horror Movies. And there’s only one man who should be allowed to present that…John Landis. If you’ve ever seen the glee with which he talks about the genre, either on American Nightmare or on Trailers From Hell, then you know he’s the one.
What, no Lance Henrickson? He could kick it to either Horror or SciFi quite well. Listening to him talk about the shit he and the cast pulled on “Near Dark” should be reason enough to let him chat about 10 movies.
But right on about Bill Murray – his ramblings would beat Jennifer Love Hewitt’s inane remembrances in any cage match.
NEAR DARK is an underappreciated gem of a vampire flick.
“I hate it when they ain’t been shaved!”
Tim Roth could present for gangster, animation and sci-fi. I don’t know that he’s actually been in animation, but jeez, look at Four Rooms.
Kurt Russell for sci fi? You’ve obviously never seen “The Soldier”. “I will not act. I will not act.”
While I appreciate your concern, Ed, you have SOLDIER in your hand, but I have THE THING and ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK in mine. So I win. And listen, if we kicked everybody out of the genre who ever made a bad movie, who would be left?