So you or someone you know has spawned. Now you have this blank slate absorbing every bit of information it can take in. You could help to make sure that the baby grows up to be a nice normal citizen. But that’s so fucking boring!
You can teach the rug rat bad words or get him that important first porn movie but those are givens. You want more from this child. Now my friends Ed and Sharon have taught their toddler Joseph a pretty good evil genius laugh. Unlike a regular politician, you can’t be a criminal mastermind on style alone. Young Joseph will need a good foundation in Science! How else is he going to build those death-ray cannons and weather control machines? And what better way for a young mind to graph the basics of nuclear physics than with plush subatomic particles?
The Particle Zoo has a whole range of happy little quanta from the light bringing Photon to the so-called ‘God particle’, the Higgs Boson. Not only does each particle come with a description tag, they have different fillings according to the particle’s theoretical weight. So Joseph will know the difference between a Muon and a Tau particle for when he constructs his Atomic Robot Army of Doom!