That’s right, folks: Needcoffee.com Loves You. It’s not just a slogan. It’s a scientific fact.
Next year is our 10th year of doing this crazy shit. No, seriously. 1998 was the spawning of Needcoffee.com. And for our ten year anniversary of not having lives, we’ve got some even crazier shit planned. I can’t tell you anything more now, because then I’d have to kill you. And killing you would be difficult because the ninjas are all busy working out the Turkey Day buffet and you outnumber me thousands to one. So I’ll just refrain from telling you, because that would be easier for everybody.
(And for those of you wondering how we can love you and threaten to kill you in the same post…you’ve never been in many relationships, have you?)
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, right. What I meant to say was this: it’s almost Thanksgiving here in the U.S. I’m sure there’s some reason to party in the rest of the world. But just about everywhere on the face of the planet, there’s gifts that need buying.
And if you’re going to buy them anyway, we always say: buy them through us. If not because we love you, just do it because we’re honest about the fact we want (and need) your money. Most websites dance around the notion, but this website is too busy working the lightshow to dance.*
So don’t fight the crowds at a mall, there are people in malls. Instead, utilize the shop.needcoffee.com URL often. And hey, just to show you how much we love you, here’s a CafePress “Friends and Family” coupon code they sent me for $15 off $50. It’s FRFAM2007 and it’s good through 11:59PM PST, November 27th, 2007. And here’s the rest of their legalese: Excludes Gift Certificates, bulk orders, taxes and shipping fees. Cannot be combined with any other offers, discounts or coupons. You can head over to our Extreme CafePress Store and save.
If anyone asks at CafePress, I either went to school with you or you’re my cousin.
Any questions about how any of this works or whatnot, you know where to find me. Thanks for your help for keeping us in beans.
* This metaphor is terrible.
Image: The Boca Java Tower of Joy. Available at the Boca Java store. Freaking huge, man.
