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It’s Starro on Smallville! No, For Real This Time!

Promachoteuthis sulcus

Okay, we’re lying again. Like last time. Sorry.

But that lie is certainly better than the truth. And according to Boing Boing, this damn thing is real. A squid with human-looking teeth.

Normally, squid are the epitome of wicked cool. But this…this is fucked up and wrong. Not only is it wrong because…well, I mean, Christ, look at it. But it’s wrong because it has really straight teeth and I can almost guarantee you that it’s never had braces in its life.

We can only hope that it stole dentures from a sailor. That’s all I’m saying.