Apparently there are some misfortunes out there in the world who can’t screw around with caffeine. You have our condolences. You also apparently have a new gee whiz thing coming that will let you slake your paranoia about encountering the stuff. They’re going to have strips that will detect caffeine, using an antibody found in llama blood. And no, we’re not kidding, read the story here.
Now the only problem is it won’t tell you how much caffeine is present. To be perfectly truthful, I had a deal worked out where my blood was going to be used to do that, but after a clinical trial that looked like that “blood test” scene in The Thing the whole matter was dropped. I was pissed.