Because he brought in a bag of sugar to ask a teacher about a science experiment, and joked that it was cocaine to some classmates, a kid has been suspended for being in possession of a “look-alike drug,” according to the Chicago Sun-Times. The story says he was charged with a felony, but Chuck Muth mentions in his latest mail-out that it was actually only a misdemeanor.

While the sheer stupidity of the school district and everyone involved, including the kid’s parents for sending the kid to a public school in the first place, is daunting to conceive of, I think this could have a chilling effect in another way. Now that precedent has been set that sugar has no place on school campuses, and is in fact a misdemeanor-level offense, anti-fat crusaders are going to finally have the leverage they need to get soft drink and snack machines out of schools for good. All we need now are some eight-year-olds being led off in handcuffs for gnawing on a Nutrageous and you’ll know for certain that the terrorists have won.

Think about it. You know I’m right.