Written by: Caspian Treadwell-Owen
Directed by: Michael Bay
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Sean Bean, Djimon Hounsou, Steve Buscemi, Michael Clarke Duncan
Review: Losing your virginity should be a special occasion. Especially if you’re losing it to Scarlett Johansson. Only trouble is, Ewan McGregor’s character is, for all intents and purposes, three years old. Man, life’s a bitch, ain’t it? Anyway, this movie has basically the same plot as this one that I first saw on MST3K all those years ago. But it also has kickass explosions, rocket bikes, and the bastard child of Cadillac and Lamborghini. It’s far from MST3K-worthy, actually not a bad film, but don’t expect the best.
Time: 23 seconds.