Your Weekend Justice #198: Son, Never Mind Them Brakes

It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck–the podcast that’s locked in a basement and singing the same song over and over and over.

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Convoy on 45

Agenda:

  • Beware the centaur poop. Plus, Aaron steals Jon’s material.
  • Jon vs. Gin
  • Rob, calling in from the 12th Dimension
  • Viva Mexico!
  • Who was Mole Man in the hotel room and why?
  • The worth of $300 back in the day
  • DreamCon leads off the podcast. Mostly.
  • Why has Kim’s voice gotten so deep?
  • Living in a post-Sharknado world
  • Pacific Rim
  • Scott uses his mic to freak out Aaron (not a euphemism)
  • Why Kidlet is a lost cause (albeit probably due to malnutrition)
  • Defending Battlefield Earth and other supposedly horrible films
  • Rob’s The Way Way Back review
  • In praise of Sam Rockwell
  • (more…)

    Charlie Brooker & Episode 803 of the World’s Most Complex Soap Opera

    Charlie Brooker: Newswipe

    So Ken recommended this highly and said I would want to share it with others. He wasn’t lying. So here we are. And you know this is good, because I seldom share full episodes of anything–the last time was, well, Brian.

    I didn’t upload this, but because the BBC is terrified that somebody outside of the UK might want to enjoy their quality programming, I’ve had to resort to embedding what some nice person on YouTube did for us. Here is the first episode of Charlie Brooker’s Newswipe.

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    Templar to Pope: You Better Recognize

    Knights Templar Toaster by Marc Luscher

    The Knights Templar are back and they’re pissed. They’re litigating against the Vatican for the seizure of their assets, the total value of which was described by one historian as “a screaming fuckton.” This occurred more than 700 years ago in a conspiracy between Pope Clement V and Philip IV of France whereby the leaders of the Templar were delivered beatdowns and all of the Templar’s stuff was confiscated.

    The Association of the Sovereign Order of the Temple of Christ has launched a court case to get Pope Benedict to “recognise” the seizure of their assets. Which, if I were the Pope, I would say, “Let me see…let me see…oh yes, we did that. Next.”

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    Stuff: J.J. Abrams and the Puzzle Apartment

    Green Lantern Battery prop replica

    Because some things you simply need to know. Here’s the day’s news in a quick digest form. Trust me, you lost nothing if somebody got cast in some film at 8am and you’re finding out about it now.

  • In more startling proof that the Law of Relative Development holds under continuous testing, Paramount snagged the rights to the magazine article we talked about previously, in which a New York apartment was turned into a walk-in puzzle. J.J. Abrams will be producing the film, thus ensuring that the apartment will be seen through jumpy POV camera and the ending poem in the wall will be made of smoke.
  • Blu-ray is expected to do $1B in sales this year, $2.5B next year. How many people have made the switch? Show of hands.
  • The Catholic Church is putting together the criteria for what they think constitutes good cinema. From the report: “Priest Marco Fibbi, a spokesman for the Diocese of Rome, said Wednesday that the church was working on a set of guidelines that will determine whether a film contains the ‘proper’ religious sentiment.” Meanwhile, the rest of the world is putting together criteria for what they think constitutes good religion. Top of the list? Not messing with altar boys.
  • Here’s Hasbro’s Cloverfield monster. Siege tells me it comes with ten parasites. Just like your high school.
  • (more…)