Wild Things (1998)

Directed by John McNaughton
Written by Stephen Peters
Starring Kevin Bacon, Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, Bill Murray

My Advice: Wait for Cable.

Let me whittle this down for you--the only reason this movie even shows up on the ratings map is because of Bill Murray.  Period.  His portrayal of the sleazebag lawyer in this mix is hilarious and much needed in what is otherwise a Grade C-Skinemax-Two-in-the-Morning-Nothing-Better-to-Watch flick that tries so hard to be a suspense film full of plot twists.  The film's claims to fame, if one can call them that, is A) Kevin Bacon's needless full-frontal nudity shot, because he was jealous of Mark Wahlberg I guess and 2) a three-way sex scene between Dillon, Party of Five good girl Campbell and Starship Troopers' resident Barbie, Richards.  Hey kids--it wasn't good for me, okay?  When Dillon instructs the two ladies "Now you two kiss," and pushes their heads together--that's pretty much the way Peters wrote it and McNaughton directed it--forced all to hell.  What's meant to be exciting or perhaps at the very least titillating winds up not even amusing.  It's almost painful to watch.  What doesn't help is that Peters' script also forces the twists and turns, making you wonder who's next to be a suspect--the gardener?  Tall Guy #2?  It's so unbelievably convoluted that Daphne Rubin-Vega's character has to spend the last ten minutes or so of the film getting things explained to her and then during the credits you get to see tell-tale scenes that show you what really happened.  The only thing we're missing is Brad Dourif's character from Alien Resurrection to narrate the damn thing.  Neve?  Denise?  You're big girls now and trying to solidify your grown-up career, right?  Fire your agents.